A recent article by Shayla Love, in the Atlantic (1) reminds us that much of our behavior is a result of habit, not conscious choice. Love cites the work of the early American psychologist, William James, who pointed out that much of our behavior is driven by habit, and not a result of conscious choice. This point has been made by many psychologists and writers over the years. Charles Duhig, in his excellent book, the “The Power of Habit” (2) clearly illustrates how habits drive much of our behavior. Duhig’s work is only one of many examples of the importance of habits in organizing and directing our behavior. Others have focused on how much of our behavior is not driven by conscious choices and is more a function of other factors out of our awareness. The conclusion is generally the same: we are not so much captains of the ship of our lives, controlling what we do by conscious choice, but rather we are driven by habits.
When we consider the idea of resolutions from this perspective, it becomes clear that making changes in habitual behaviors is far harder than we think. If you always eat a bowl of ice cream before bedtime, you will very likely find it way harder to change this behavior than you think. This likely also applies to establishing new habits that are not part of our routine.
Writer and podcaster Marielle Segarra, who was a contributor to a recent “Consider This” podcast on new year’s resolutions (3) , suggests that many resolutions are likely to fail because they feel punitive. Anyone who has tried to eat in a more healthy manner (e.g., giving up pop or eating more vegetables) may feel like they are being punished. Similarly, starting to exercise, floss your teeth, watch less reality TV, and the like are all likely to result in the feeling that you are being deprived. Segarra suggests that instead of these types of resolutions we make resolutions that bring us more joy. She also suggests not focusing on specific and rigid goals, but more on general intentions.
Rather than focusing on resolutions it may be more optimal to try and make changes in our behavior when we feel motivated. I am reminded of a doctor I saw many years ago who shared with me how he started to exercise more when his physician suggested he needed to go on medication for prediabetes. While one could argue that he should have made this change sooner, we may need to accept that outside input may be a useful motivator to get us to work to start a new behavior, or give up an old one.
There are multiple strategies for changing habits that are worth considering when we think about how we can do a better job of making and keeping our resolutions. Having a partner who shares the same goal and will work with you to achieve the goal can help us stay on track, particularly if your resolution is something that can easily and possibly even more effectively done with a partner, such as walking or exercising more or learning a foreign language. There are a myriad of books, podcasts and materials on how to change habits. While some are likely very worthwhile others value is likely more questionable. However, the work of the psychologist Wendy Wood (4) offers some valuable insights into how to change habits. Wood details a research based approach to making changes in habits. I discuss her work in our 2021 blog, Habits, Will Power, and Change.
It is also important to recognize that desired goals or changes are not really amenable to resolutions, such as being a better parent or spouse, but rather involve an ongoing process that in these examples may last a lifetime. Regardless of what approach you may take to making and sticking to your resolutions it is essential to recognize that telling yourself you are going to make a change is more daunting than you think. Acknowledging the limits of will power, not as a failing, but as part of an understanding that changing our behavior, particularly longstanding patterns of behavior is not easy. A more realistic, focused and forgiving approach may help us make more of the changes we want.
References
Love, S., Making Resolutions Work for You, The Atlantic, January 2025.
Duhig, C. The Power of Habit.
Consider This, NPR Podcast, from December 26 , 2024, titled “ For a happier new year, rethink your resolutions.
Wood, W. Good Habits, Bad Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick