Doris Kearns-Goodwin memoir (1) is clearly a personal reflection. Thus, it is unclear how much her personal enthusiasm and engagement with the world around her, and a desire to make the world a better place, applied to others of her generation. However, public surveys (2) of the early 1960s revealed that this was a time of greater faith in government and optimism that we could make America and the world a better place. JFK’s famous quote “ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country,” can seem quaint, naive, overly optimistic, and possibly somewhat cynical, particularly when considered from our current vantage point. The disasters of the Vietnam war and more recent wars, the limitations and failures of effort to improve our society, seem to loom larger than the optimism and accomplishments of that time. However, it seems to this writer that there was a concern about others, the society we live in, our fellow citizens, and the world around us, that is both uplifting and sadly often missing from our broader political discussions.
While historically interesting you may ask what does this have to do with psychology and mental health, and why are you writing about this. My answer: I worry that our self-focused culture is part of what is contributing to our mental health crises, particularly for adolescents and young adults. Efforts to improve our health by obsessively evaluating what we eat, what supplements we take, and what strategies we can use to promote longevity seem excessive. Clearly, I am not against healthy eating, regular exercise, and quality healthcare, but making these issues the central or organizing principle of my life does not seem healthy. As my elderly mother snappily replied when told she was being put on hospice and was dying, “we are all going to die.” Similarly, the rise of influencer culture, the promotion of self care, and the overwhelming number of self-styled self-help, wellness and quasi spiritual influencers, writers, and gurus amazes me. I recently read a NYT article on Jay Shetty, the author of “Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day” (3) and it left me wondering: is he offering wisdom on how to be more at peace with ourselves (at best), a repackaging of advice and wisdom that has existed in various forms for many centuries, or is he, at worst, just another clever con artist selling another version of snake oil. The same could be said about a variety of other wellness and self-styled self-help experts. Other works, such as the best seller, “Let them theory” by Mel Robbins (4,) offers reasonable recommendations, (Robbins’ focus is on accepting that we cannot change and control the actions of others), but none of these ideas are particularly original (in fact we can probably go back to the ancient Greeks and their writings on Stoicism, to find similar concepts). The one thing that all of the influencers, health and wellness promoters and self-styled gurus appear to have in common is their emphasis on the self: how to make ourselves better. None appear to be advocating harming others or promoting hostility towards others (that appears to be the province of a variety of other writers and ideologues). Rather, these self-styled healers are directing us to reflect on and think about ourselves. My concern is that they are too often inadvertently advocating what strikes me as an excessive emphasis on thinking about ourselves and what is best for us, to the exclusion of other issues. Other writers have offered a variety of critiques of the “wellness industry” ranging from sharp critiques of snake oil cures and remedies to the cost, to its marketing efforts (often directed more at women), to the reality that it may be a partial response to the limitations and problems associated with our healthcare system (5). My concern: excessive self-focus is unhealthy, and may unintentionally promote anxiety and stress. Anxiety is potentially a significant unanticipated and negative consequence of self-focus. One can worry endless if one is being mentally and physically healthy enough which can lead to excessive and even obsessive monitoring of ourselves. Self-focus can also be unhealthy because coupled with social media it can lead to endless comparisons: am I measuring up compared to others. At its worst, it can potentially lead to a disregard of others and the world around us. Again, I am not arguing for an unhealthy lifestyle and a disregard of self, but against the over-focus on self.
Thomas Friedman recently wrote an op-ed in the NYT (6) about Minnesota and how everyday people came together to help their neighbors during the ICE raids. While Friedman’s article is political in many respects it also touches on how reaching out to others appeared to be good for all those who stepped outside of themselves, even though they were not threatened personally by immigration raids, to help others. Reaching out to others appeared to promote all sorts of positive connections which helped people feel less isolated, and more hopeful. In closing, it may be time for therapists and other mental healthcare providers to reflect once again on the importance of thinking about others, and remember the value of doing something to promote greater social good. We may be missing an important intervention that might help the mental health of our clients more than self-help books and wellness blogs, podcasts and articles can. It is important to keep in mind that this is no easy task: anxiety and depression inherently increase self-focus. Helping people step outside themselves at good times, let alone difficult times, is no small task. Thus we might want to offer the idea of thinking about what we can do for others, as something to consider, an option, rather than prescribing such actions. Perhaps by raising the idea of thinking more about the greater good we might prompt our clients to a pursue a new way of helping themselves overcome their struggles and maybe even improve the world a little
References:
- Doris Kearns-Goodwin’s memoir, An Unfinished Love Story: A Personal History of
the 1960s. Simon and Schuster, 2024. - Pew Research Centers’ surveys on public trust in Government:
https://www.pewresearch.org/politics/2025/12/04/public-trust-in-government-1958-2025/ - Jay Shetty interview in the New York Times, February 21st, 2026.
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/21/magazine/jay-shetty-wellness-influencer-interview.
html - Let them theory, by Mel Robbins. Also a brief interview and summary of her ideas from a 2025 interview (which does fairly reasonably summarize the ideas in the book): https://www.wondermind.com/article/let-them-theory/#:~:text=The%20Let%20Them%20Theory%20is%20a%20mindset,be%20in%20a%20bad%20mood%22.%20*%20**Decision%2Dmaking**
- See the work of Amy Larocca, How To Be Well – Navigating Our Self-Care Epidemic, One Dubious Cure At A Time, who offers a critique and explanation of the rise of the wellness industry. This book is also summarized and discussed in a 2025 article in the Atlantic magazine by Sheila Mcclear: https://www.theatlantic.com/books/archive/2025/05/how-health-became-luxury-commodity/682957/. There is also an interview with Larocca, from the NPR show, Fresh Air, which aired May, 15, 2025: https://www.npr.org/2025/05/15/nx-s1-5399181/from-fitness-fads-to-mental-health-trends-how-wellness-became-an-american-epidemic
- Thomas Friedman article in the March 16th, 2026 edition of the New York Times: Why Minnesota Matters More Than Iran for America’s Future. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/15/opinion/columnists/minneapolis-ice-trump-neighbor.html